Privilege and Prejudice

One day, I heard: "Privilege is everything we don't have to worry about."

I can say that this sentence changed the lens through which I view my daily experience. Since then, I've been paying closer attention to what it means for me and the privileges I truly enjoy.

Clearly, I live with considerable privilege—I am a heteronormative, middle-class, Caucasian person, with good looks, a normative and healthy body, living in a democratic country in Europe. I am also, proudly, a woman. However, being a woman cannot yet be claimed as a privilege—despite the pride I feel in being one. I hope that one day gender will be a neutral factor in the equation of privilege. For now, we women still live with varying degrees of the guilt, fear, and shame we were taught to endure as we grew up.

It seems to me that prejudice is, in a certain way, intertwined with privilege, if only because of the lack of compassion we can afford, most of the time, innocently, simply because we don't have to worry. Nuances escape us, the same nuances that are crucial for others and prevent them from living with the same freedom and being treated with the same respect that I take for granted.

I've experienced a simple yet revealing story:

It happened in my small town, on a scorching summer afternoon, the kind where the asphalt on the road steams and people are hidden away in their homes. I had to go to a minimarket to buy food for a snack. I was casually dressed, still flushed with the pleasure of working with the soil; I had been working on the farm. My clothes were dirty, my hair disheveled, my hands unwashed, perhaps a sly smile on my face—a sign of having surrendered to the laziness I had longed for all morning, the satisfaction of a job well done.

I entered with the same attitude and confidence I would have at any other time when more carefully dressed. After all, I'm still myself, right? But my attire was out of place, inviting caution, insecurity, less confidence. It called for, I realized later, others’ distrust. As I walked through the aisles, studying the products before deciding what I wanted, I noticed the store employees hovering around me, intruding on my personal space. At first, I felt confused, and then very suddenly, ashamed. Embarrassed by my scarcity, insufficiency, difference. I realized my movements were being closely monitored by the serious faces surrounding me. They spoke rudely to me, asking if I "needed something." I understood: they think I'm going to steal. I thought: I've been told before thatbecause of my skin tone i could pass as arabe, or gypsy. I realized: I’m dirty and looking “unkempt.” In that moment, I lost several of my privileges. At that moment, I felt a vulnerable indignation, and anger. A sad voice inside: I’m not poor, nor do i belong to an ethnic minority, but if that was the case, this is how people would treat me. They would treat me like this almost everywhere, most of the time.

During this event, I reflected: Is there a better way to truly defy a prejudice than to have to embody it, even if only for a moment?

A Cauda da Salamandra

In life, we frequently encounter situations that, at first glance, seem like strange and disconnected shapes, similar to those images formed dot by dot, which only make sense when seen as a whole. Remember those? The ones we often found on the back of breakfast cereal boxes!

Initially, we connect the first points and perhaps glimpse only a scattered figure. However, as our eyes and minds adjust, we realize that this mysterious shape resembles a tail, even though the connection to the whole remains unknown.

Just like the process of deciphering the dot-to-dot image, understanding complex situations in life requires patience and flexibility. It is necessary to allow the details to unfold in their own time, gradually shaping our perception until the moment when the tail is revealed to belong to a salamander. At that point, we have a broader perspective, but the story is still not complete...

With each new detail that emerges, our view of the big picture expands. We discover that the salamander is on a rock, and that rock rests atop a mountain, surrounded by a vast and impressive panorama that we could never have imagined by just glimpsing the first point or even the initial shape of the tail.

This gradual process of gaining perspective is a powerful metaphor for life. As we navigate our experiences, encounters, and challenges, we are often led to judge each situation based on first impressions or incomplete information. However, true understanding — of ourselves, others, and the world around us — requires us to see beyond the immediate, beyond the superficial obviouness, beyond the reductive stories we may create.

Just as we need adaptability and curiosity to connect the dots of that image, we also need mental and emotional flexibility to interpret situations in their full nuances. By opening ourselves to new perspectives and allowing time to reveal hidden layers, we expand our understanding and develop greater empathy and patience. We realize that, just like in the image of the salamander's tail, we are all in constant transformation, part of something greater that unfolds gradually before our eyes and heart.

Therefore, the next time you encounter a "salamander's tail" in your life — a confusing situation or a riddle to be solved — remember that the fullness of understanding, the clarity, is only attained through a comprehensive and patient vision.

Ultimately, it is in each detail that the true beauty and complexity of life are revealed.